I recently crossed a date on the calendar that meant I had served on staff at Goss Memorial for twenty full years. For today's blog post, I wanted to share just a few reflections.
1. I have regrets.
Sometimes you will hear people say things such as "Live with no regrets" or "Don't let your regrets get in the way of your future."
While understandable, sometimes our discomfort with the past can prohibit proper reflections. I won't speak of specific regrets today, but I do believe regretful actions, decisions, words, etc. have truly shaped me and helped bring about maturity in my life and understanding.
2. I truly love Jesus.
Pastoral work does not lend itself to the easy road, contrary to what some may think. The road can wind through dark, lonely, and sometimes soul-shaking places.
I cannot point to any other place or person besides Jesus for what has sustained me during this time. Serving Him, loving Him, trying to mirror His actions and teachings, and leading others to Him have brought joy which has sustained me through these years.
Loss, attack, gossip, joy, success, sorrow, frustration - all come by the way of the pastor. Abiding in Jesus keeps me on the road. I hope saying this inspires you to seek His presence more in your life too!
3. I am not a bigtime visionary.
God has given a lot of help through the years regarding how to lead, where to spend time and energy, and how to encourage young people and adult members of a congregation. I know I am not a person who leads from big, vivid visions of what God must and will do through me or us. I suppose you could say I am more of a shepherd.
That doesn't mean God has not provided all the direction needed. Some seasonal directions have fizzled. Some have lasted. God gets the glory for responding to His leading. I praise God for the opportuniy to lead with faithful men for many many years.
4. I am refreshed and energized.
After twenty years? In the middle of a pandemic and amidst the turmoil of grief and looming losses? After seeing many people we love leave our fellowship (the vast majority in non-conflict related situations)?
Yes. I am refreshed and energized. Last October, God did a work in my life and I truly haven't been the same since. Honestly, I don't anticipate going back to my past patterns. Nor do I want to do so.
Call it vision. Call it God's handi-work. Call it a miracle. I'd call it all three. While I could never have imagined feeling this way during the dark days of the early fall of 2019, it should come as no surprise the God often will find a way to do the work He intends.
I praise Him for it and look forward to the years ahead.
In Christ,
Pastor Kevin