Genesis 29
They don’t call it “Falling” in Love for Nothing
Something about a beautiful woman makes a man fall hard. If he loses her, he lands hard, and sometimes his brokenness never heals. Even the great men in the Bible deal with this reality.
The book of Genesis records the lives of the men from whom the Israelite people would descend. Three generations—Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—occupy much of the book. Further, we know from the text that both Abraham and Isaac’s wives were attractive.
Therefore, we are not surprised when Genesis introduces Jacob’s future love as “beautiful in form and appearance” (Genesis 29:17). When Jacob met Rachel, the two of them fell into a high school romance, and Jacob agreed to work for Laban in exchange for Rachel. Nothing would separate them. Or so they thought.
Long Story Short
Rachel had an older sister named Leah, who lacked Rachel’s looks. The Bible compares the two sisters with the understatement, “Leah’s eyes were weak.” In other words, Leah probably did not stand a chance of landing a man without help.
Her “help” came from her father Laban, who switched the sisters on Jacob and Rachel's wedding night. In the Middle Eastern cultures where women cover their faces, the switch would be conceivable. The following morning, Jacob woke up to find that he has consummated his marriage with Leah instead of Rachel.
Loving Ordinary Wives in a Beauty-obsessed Society
Of course, Jacob was furious. But Laban was patronizing. He told Jacob that for another seven-year contract, he could marry Rachel. So what if he entered into a bigamous relationship with two sisters?
Jacob took the bait with the hope that he could reconnect with his fairytale dream. But a marriage haunted by another woman—either in memory or in reality—is doomed to have problems.
In Jacob's case, his obsession led to passive-aggressive behavior toward Leah and the children he bore by her. The Bible minces no words. “So Jacob…loved Rachel more than Leah…. When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren” (Genesis 29:30, 31).
The Bible calls the problem what it was. Jacob’s imbalanced behavior spelled hatred for Leah.
Missing God's Blessings
The account walks a thin line between the two realities that Jacob chose for himself. Yes, he and Rachel loved each other, and yes, Rachel’s father robbed them on their wedding night. Laban’s trickery is conniving, irresponsible, and inexcusable.
At the same time, I cannot help but believe that had Jacob taken the more heroic action—had he accepted Leah as his wife and pledged his support to her, he would have laid the foundation for a far more heroic life than the one he lived.
Unfortunately, when he took Laban up on his offer, he chose passivity over principle. He allowed Laban to manipulate him once again into seven more years of work.
Of course, Jacob was so gaga over Rachel that he was glad to endure the work. But the family fractures lasted a lifetime. Toward the end of his life, Jacob lamented, “Few and evil have been the years of my life” (Genesis 47:9).
Conclusion
In his obsession to recover his young romance, Jacob missed what Leah had to offer. Leah lacked the good looks, but she showed a far greater degree of spiritual insight than her sister. What might she and her husband have become if he had been willing to love her for who she was instead of playing the comparison game?
Jacob faced the same dilemma that every man does when he engages in comparison shopping. We begin to idolize physical beauty over all other virtues.
Our society does not practice polygamy, but it does advertise the mind games. One of the side effects of constant exposure to “perfect” women, in magazines, film, or pornography is an unrealistic obsession with beauty. We lust for the fantasy rather than living in the reality.
Obsessing over other women while we neglect our wives is hatred. We may not be able to see the situation that way, but our wives feel deep pain. This behavior destroys them.
Doug Knox